Ichiban Twisted Dialogue

A gentrified man knocks on a pocked steel door in a malodorous alley. The door is opened by a twitching bag of bones in stained boxers and wife-beater...

"Hey Straightlace, come on in. How's shit?"

"Are you holding?"

"Sure thing. How many you want?"

"Four should do."

"You don't sound so sure of yourself, there, Straightlace."

"I'm on a budget these days."

"No worries, I've got what you need. Ever since you folks legalized it there's never a short supply. More and more folks ploughing and cropping every day. Eh, get it?"

"Yes, amusing...but how do I know that what you have is any better than old Titty-bar Akmar downn at the Slick Lips."

"Don't even say that fat prick's name. Akmar's a whore who'd peddle his own personal for a bit of profit. Me, I got primo shit all the way from a grower in sunny California."

"How much?"

"What? Like, how much do I got?"

"No. How much?"

"Oh, for you Straightlace I've got a special rate - ten per plus five on the deal, straight up."

"That's your so-called special rate?"

"Yeah well, you don't really qualify for the pretty-girl discount (the ladies are starting to partake more and more) and for Joe Schmoe off the road it's fifteen per. Deal?"

"It's good?"

"What the fuck have I been telling you all these years? Speaky English? What, do you want a preview or something?"

"Well, you know, Akmar always..."

"Mention that shit peddler again and the price is twenty per 'cause you're pissing me off. Follow me if you want."

"Where too?"

"Storage. When I started dealing in quantities I had to set up a strong room. Some of these punks today will try anything for a taste."

"Whatever. How much farther?"

"Left at the foot of the stairs then the first door on the right. Here we are."

"Wow...look at them all."

"See, I told you. Go ahead and touch if you want."

"A little young, wouldn't you say?"

"And what? You want me to pull out my magic aging machine and give 'em what for? Don't be simple. Look, clean...and see the red hair, those tight little buds. Beautiful."

"Mmmmm...yes, okay. Akmar's got nothing but black anyway."

"What the fuck do you think I've been saying? Man's got, like, twenty wives andonly sells his own."

"And these are clones?"

"Dude, I'll never tell. So, how many do you want?"

"Forget the budget. I want all of them, all ten here."

"And what do you know? Ten's how old they are too. It's best to get them before their teens. You can make them pretty much any way you want them if you get them before their teens."

"Not to worry. We go through them pretty quickly at work."

"And how are things down at the Ministry?"

"You know, same old same old."

"Yeah, I gotcha'. The daily grind and all that."

"Sometimes a twice daily grind."

"Woof! You old dog you. Down boy! Wait 'til you get 'em paid for. Virgins don't grow on trees you know."